Sunday, January 22, 2012

Well, welcome to Grad school

   So, it's Sunday - the perfect day to share a recent paper I wrote for graduate school. The topic given was: Is man inherently good or evil? To answer this prompt, we were instructed to utilize concepts recently discussed in class, and explore the concept of beliefs, morals and values, and reference philosophers/theorists/psychologists mentioned in relevant class readings.

 Sure. No problem. I love writing. And I enjoy researching philosophy, religion, and psychology. So, I began voraciously pouring over class discussion posts, recent reading assignments, and checked out a few additional books to cross-reference. I spent a considerable amount of time on this paper - mostly because the original version was exceedingly longer than the prescribed word count limit thus requiring mass editing. Sure. No problem. I was a professional editor for a marketing company several years ago.

When I finally submitted this paper, confident that it would garner a high-scoring grade as my undergraduate papers did, a sense of satisfaction came over me. The previous two papers I submitted for this class were a bit under my personal standard of perfectionism, mostly due to the adjustment of managing my new life as a graduate student [then] working two jobs. But, they were decent. Yet, this paper...This paper was supposed to be pretty good.

At least, that was my hope.

Alas, my professor disagreed. What I thought would be an "A" paper turned out to be a "C+" paper. Ouch! Needless to say, I was disappointed - not just because I'm a perfectionist, rather because she did not provide feedback as to why the paper was only "C+". And I'm still somewhat unsure as to why the paper fell below the mark as a sub-par piece of work.

Perhaps, I can shamelessly solicit your feedback (assuming anyone ever reads this blog). It's Sunday, yes, but the paper discusses religious topic[s]. ;) I would love to hear what your thoughts are on the quality of the paper, any suggestions for improvement, and any words of encouragement as I start hitting the grad school ground running again on Monday. :)

Please and thank you, in advance.

Enjoy.

(Note: the pictures featured here, on this blog post, were NOT included as part of my paper. just so you know. I included them here to break up the monotony of text.)

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Is Man Inherently Good or Evil?
By Danielle W.
Psych 505
Copyright 2011

                                                       What are Beliefs, Morals and Values?
To discuss human propensity for good or evil, it is imperative that a foundation for defining morals, values, and beliefs be established. Morals are interlocking sets of values (what one deems important), virtues, norms, practices, identities, and evolved psychological mechanisms that work together to suppress or regulate selfishness and make social life possible. Values and morals together form one’s beliefs which have been influenced by family traditions, customs, religion, environment and other life experiences, and function as a guiding principle for how one conducts daily life.

Early Philosophical/Religious Influences
            The question as to whether man is inherently good or evil has been hotly debated for centuries by theologians, philosophers, and politicians alike. From the early Greek philosophers to early Roman Catholic influence which lead to the eventual Reformation, and later to the Enlightenment to modern-day humanism, the concept of identifying the nature of man in hopes of providing a sense of understanding into both human thought and action, is one that continually endures. Ideas may modify and change through the centuries, but the initial motive remains fundamentally same. To answer: Why do men do what they do? [What is the nature of man?] From where did we come? And what is our purpose?  
Aristotle teaching Plato
 That said, it is nearly impossible, if not illogical, to attempt to explore this without examining both philosophy and religion throughout recorded history. Perhaps, the earliest influences on the subject are the prolific ancient Greek philosophers such as Aristotle who explored this notion at length. Aristotle was, by modern definition, a rationalist.  He, along with other non-Christian philosophers, essentially believed that reality is explainable in rational terms through physical evidence and deductive reasoning – which, in turn, was the only way one could both obtain and increase knowledge. (Schaeffer, 145).  Furthermore, while acknowledging that man is finite in nature, he alone is capable of discerning what is true and false, and “right” or “wrong”, thus determining his own universalities. It was thought that the most important focus for man was man himself, which would ideally create a sense of universal knowledge about the physical world (because rationalists believe[d] that only the physical world exists). This, in turn, gave man power over their natural desires and their fate. However, Aristotle believed that, despite this freedom of choice, it was only available to certain individuals – upper class Greek adult men like himself. With this, even still, human affairs were neither wholly understandable nor explainable. He did, however, believe that our choices were based on – and consistent with - past experiences and habits. (Journal of Religion and Health, 126). And that our two governing principles – desire and reason – were often in conflict. Reasoning was of paramount importance.
Kant
            Interestingly, another well-known Greek philosopher, Socrates, believed similarly that men had the ability to discern “good” from “evil”, but took on a more spiritual tone. For instance, Socrates would not say that a good deed was good simply because the gods deemed it as such; rather it was good because it benefited both the person who did it and the people unto whom the good deed was done. Socrates believed in the notion of moral virtue, and whether it was either taught or inherent. He implied that wisdom was good and ignorance bad (Journal of Religion and Health, 126) but also taught his students that man knew right from wrong but forgot this knowledge at birth and had to be re-taught. Essentially, Socrates taught that man’s conscious was above the law (“free will”), which, unfortunately, led to his eventual death sentence under Athenian order. Even German philosopher Immanuel Kant centuries later endorsed the idea of “free will”. While Kant generally deemed good and evil in more absolutist terms; for example, certain acts such as adultery, murder, and theft are universally evil, he did, however, believe that both virtue [good] and malevolence [evil] (Journal of Religion and Health, 126) lay within an individual’s ability to choose. He, like Aristotle, believed that the basis of all human actions was reasoning; therefore, every choice and action had consequences.
Painting of Christ entitled "Bible Stories"
   Thus, when speaking in terms of what is deemed good or evil, it only makes sense to examine early religious writings and practices and how those ideologies have enduring influences on modern-day thoughts of what is moral [good] and immoral [evil]. Perhaps, the two historically most influential religions were Judaism and Christianity. Early Judaism lent itself to many of the early Christian theologies. Thus, the two religions paralleled each other in several aspects. Eventually, these two religions polarized, however, and Christianity became, in essence, the so-called dominant religion influencing much of papal and political thinking and policies through Europe – and abroad. Two of the first influential men on early Christianity (after the time of Christ) were Augustine and Pelagius. Augustine believed that free will was responsible for sin because it implied one’s ability to do evil, whereas Pelagius rejected this notion believing that, based on the teachings of Christ, people have the capacity to choose; that God would not establish laws or commandments that men were inherently unable to follow because he was, by nature, “bad”. Man has both good and evil in him, hence the ability to choose whether or not to follow God. Furthermore, Pelagius believed that sin was not the result of human weakness; rather man’s agency, thus making man autonomous. This was rejected by the early Roman Catholic Church because it was thought that Pelagius did not fully recognize the importance or the need of grace or salvation, focusing more on humanity’s ability to choose allegedly trumped the power of God.  Incidentally, despite being “damned” as a heretic by Roman Catholicism, many of Pelagius’ thoughts have transcended both time and theology; the Reformation, the Humanism of the Renaissance, the Enlightenment and modern Liberalism – and even major Christian denominations and other religious sects echo remnant ideas akin to what Pelagius proposed centuries prior. (Appleton, 1911). Regardless of the religion, it can be said that there is a shared belief that man has the ability to choose for himself how to act. This is not a revolutionary concept, after all the Bible states: “The commandments that I lay on you this day is not difficult for you…today I offer you the choice of life and good, or death and evil” (Deuteronomy 30:11-15, NKJV). 

Societal/Cultural Views
  The influence of religion on societies and cultures cannot be understated. Regardless of what the major religious affiliation is in a certain region, its historical roots inevitably play an influential part in the cultural fabric of society. Moreover, the concept that people have an innate right to choose for themselves, what is good or bad. We are responsible for our own actions and the consequences of those actions. For instance, in the United States, where freedom of religion is not only touted but practiced, and the separation of church and state is vehemently argued and defended. The fact remains that there are certain standards of “moral” and “immoral” behavior within our society, much of which has been inherited from early religious tenets.  It is universally agreed upon that murder, theft, rape and lying immoral behavior, and even punishable by societal laws. Conversely, characteristics of honesty, charity, trustworthiness, loyalty, and hard work are “good” qualities. This can be said to be in some other societies, as well. Generally, humans, as a whole, tend to agree on certain aspects of what is considered evil behavior versus good behavior. How those actions are interpreted (i.e., punishment for crimes, rewards of freedom for upholding the law), may vastly differ from one society to another, but the premise remains the same. People have the ability to choose their actions, whether they be “right” or “wrong”, and, in turn, are accountable accordingly.
Nietzche
                 That said, despite human tendency to compartmentalize; to say that good and bad behaviors are mutually exclusive is to not only over simplify, but to forget that the two are connected. Even in Biblical times, “good and evil were viewed as connected [because] every person possesses the ability to do either […] According to the Bible, good is not just a value” it was a way of life; it was an active choice to follow a higher standard – or, in this instance, God’s law. Yet, even that is up for interpretation. Even Fredrick Nietzche believe that good and evil  were relative; that those who are good deemed themselves as such by conforming to the so-called “norm”, while those labeled as bad are those who went against the grain. In other words, societal definitions of good and evil, though laced with theological and philosophical hand-me-downs, are, essentially determined by its leaders based on its cultural values which can change as the society evolves (Journal of Religion and Health, 134).  

Psychological Theories
Alas, even psychology cannot fully explain one’s propensity or capacity to perform good or evil acts. While many theorists such as Piaget and Karen Horney, discuss the subject of morality, it can be said that choosing good is not merely part of one’s genetic code, but based on teaching and experiences. People have the capacity to both good and bad for reasons that may, on the outside, defy reason. However, Sigmund Freud, like Aristotle, believed desires tended to override one’s ability to reason; therefore we must learn to how to consciously avoid the prior from overriding the latter.

Is Man Good or Evil?
Summarily, to answer the question: Is man good or evil, the answer is – both. Humans are complex individuals, and good and evil are not black and white. The human experience lends itself to much gray – as we have both good and bad habits. There are myriad factors that play into both human biology and the human experience – whether it is religious teachings, parenting, education, psychological well-being, or cultural/societal influences. In truth, each of these factors impact someone’s ideas and actions. Lest we not forget – one’s ability to choose what is right or wrong is a significant piece of the puzzle. These ideas may change overtime, but the fundamental measure if a person is good or bad is probably best assessed by both their intentions and their actions. Because, again, humans are capable of both good and evil – some more so than others, but we all possess such tendencies nonetheless.

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Saturday, January 21, 2012

Handful of Dust

    (originally drafted 1/17/12)


 I remember this day, 17 years ago, very clearly - so clearly as if it were a running film feed playing automatically on the television displayed in the patient waiting room of the local hospital. Alas, it isn't merely some video; rather, it is real. The reality is that 17 years ago today, momma went from a radiant, vibrant, intelligent, vessel of abundant goodness to a mere handful of dust.

 Her friends and coworkers, even some individuals with whom I've been in contact years later who have heard the story, have inquired as to why momma chose to be cremated rather than buried. Well, my first response has always been: Because that's what she requested! This is then usually followed up with another question: "Why didn't she have a funeral or an obituary?" Again, because mom specifically asked that no fuss be made when she passed away; it's what she requested.

And so I honor[ed] it.

 In the years since then, I have done (and continue to do) what's within my capability to pay tribute to mom life, and focus more on the fact she lived. After all, that's what she would have wanted. She was such a simple, humble soul, that having any sort of pomp and circumstance dwelling on her passing would not be her "style", so to speak. I have had moments when the thought of having a gravestone close by to visit may be nice, so I can visit and contemplate and try to "channel" her energy, so to speak, with regard to particularly arduous situations/experiences.

And that's when I realize being close to momma is not necessarily about proximity (though, it would certainly be wonderful to have that), nor do I need a grave marker to visit to feel closer to her...

What I love about the Gospel (and what attracted me to investigate in the first place) is the concept of Eternal Life. Many religions purport the concept - or at least part of the concept - that death is merely a stage along the way, and that our souls continue to exist beyond the grave. Yet, the Gospel tenets teach that our soul and body are not mutually exclusive. We, beyond the veil, shall have our soul (spirit) be one with our body again in the eternities. And, it won't simply be a body, but a perfected body.

So, while momma's cancer-ravaged body has since been reduced to a velvety gray handful of dust that slipped through my fingers, onto and around the smallest pine tree growing up through the snow-capped mountains of Green Valley Falls, on January 17, 1995.... her unceasingly influential and inspiring spirit will have a healthy, perfect body again on that Triumphant Day.

And knowing this makes me vastly more appreciative for a body that is now, unlike last January, is healthier. And that my spirit is a bit better than it was last January, too. And that, for the most part, the two are working together as a team. Which is a blessing.

Alas, I digress.

Back to the "handful of dust" reference.

So, yes, mom was cremated and I spread her ashes around fledgling pine tree 17 years ago today. I still remember this so clearly. My father, of all people, had come from Hawaii upon my request, and drove my mom's gray Pontiac GrandAm up the windy-twisty mountains to Green Valley Falls. I had wondered why mom requested to have her ashes spread there, but as soon as we arrived it was clear. It looked like a snapshot from her childhood home in Pulaski. There were evergreens and snow everywhere. I walked a few yards and found a tiny, baby pine tree in the midst of towering, majestic pines, and thought: Here, here it is. I can circle this tree with your ashes, and your ashes will help it grow, and then you can grow all over again with this tree - always 'green', always living, and always giving me the air that I breathe [trees give us oxygen, ya know]... Even in death, you'll be living.

So, when my graveyard shift ended at 9:13 a.m. this morning (ironically, the time I was born), I remembered that there's a tree I planted back in April 2003 (April is mom's birth month) in a neighboring park as part of a local cancer awareness endeavor. I walked the mile from my place of work to this park to find that, indeed, my tree was still there - so much taller than it was when it was originally planted as a fledgling nearly nine years prior. And it still has the original accompanied plaque that bears mommy's (and others') name. The tree was - and is - strong, sturdy, and still standing...

I stood there at the base of this tree, and smiled. Then, realizing the bus home would be coming shortly, I blew a kiss and said softly: "I love you, mom. I miss you."

The bus came within seconds, literally, and I thought how interesting; how fortuitous of my teenage self to say back then: "even in death, you'll be living" (especially not having the Gospel in my life then) because it is so true. To this day, 17 years after her passing, mom lives. Within me. 

And because of that, mom will never be a mere handful of dust...A Handful Of Dust (Album Version)

I so deeply wish that those dearest to me could have known mom, but that's an opportunity the next life will bring, I hope... Until then, I like to think mom helps bless not only my life, but theirs as well. After all, that would be so in sync with what she did so often when she was alive on Earth.


the way the sunlight is shining through the trees, in this picture I took two years ago, seems fitting for this post


To my long-lost grandma

  Happy 77th birthday today (January 20), Grandma!

The last time I ever saw you was January 1, 1995.
Less than an hour after momma's sapphire blue eyes went black, and she relinquished her last breath to God;
Playing around with my very first camera, courtesy of grandpa.
I remember your exact words, forlorn and desperate, and the tortured Jenga-esque expression on your pale face. 
You left on a red-eye back to New York that night faster than my brain could register exactly what had just transpired
That was 17 years and 19 days ago. 

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I wonder about my grandma, the woman who birthed my beloved mother almost 57 years ago.

I wonder about her often; Is she happy? Is she healthy? Is she safe? Is she alive?

Has she finally found the love and acceptance, peace and security she's been longing for...for so long?

Or...

   Does she continue to sequester herself into a secret shell of solitude so as to protect herself from ever getting hurt again? Does she continue to isolate herself from others, all the while crying out in silently deafening pleads for someone to reach out and care, but too afraid to do so because she doesn't quite know how to reach out in return?

Grandma and grandpa, just four months before his death.
  Has she been living the life she hopes for - and deserves to - live, these last 17 years (even without grandpa and momma)?

Or...

  Does she still think that hiding herself away from me, in particular, is really what's best; that she's somehow doing me a favor by being absentee? Does she think that the reason I seek her out, once every few years, is because I want " something" instead of the actual reason - which is, that I genuinely care.

I wonder about my grandmother, the woman I haven't seen since my beloved mother passed away 17 years ago.

I wonder.

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For so many years, I tried to see where you were coming from and why.
Grandma, a quiet, reserved woman, but she loved her moped.
I've tried to understand your stubbornness, your self-depreciation, your sense of loss, and    self-imposed isolation;
To understand why were always at odd, and butting heads when we had the same goal in taking 
care of momma.
And, I see it's that we were so much alike in that we couldn't bear letting of our anchor 
and our angel
Yet, that was so long ago, and all I can say is...

Happy 77th Birthday, Grandma!


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And I wonder, if grandma happens to see this, at random, if she'll think to leave a comment here on this blog
I wonder.
Or...
To email me directly.
Does she know that I would respond, without condition or prejudice or expectation?
Have, I, only the best of intentions - yes, indeed, I do.
I wonder if you know that, grandma - do you?
I wonder.

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Walks in the sun

  I have about five different blog post drafts sitting on file, but due to one unforeseen circumstance after another, have been otherwise "distracted", if you will.

 On the first of January, I wrote a note to this new year on my Facebook wall. It read: "Dear 2012: Let's be friends, and be awesome together".

 The previous year was exceptionally arduous for a multitude of reasons; it began hard, and ended hard. I was determined (and still am) to make this new year a fantastic one. Even if the odds are against me; I am forging optimistic.

 I told myself that there was no way that January would be as disastrous December. Nope. January has to be excellent. "Let's be excellent", I said to Mr. January.

 And, for the most part, the first nine days of January were okay; definitely an improvement from it's predecessor, Mr. December.

Or, perhaps, it felt okay because I started taking long walks in the sunshine to destress, reflect, and remind myself to breathe. 

 Being out in the sun for about five to ten miles a day definitely seems to make a difference. It helped shine some light on a few things, particularly endowing me with the ability to deem myself worthy of happiness.


 And that was huge. Huge, I say. So much so that my doctor, yesterday, noticed the lighter inflections of my speech and said: "Wow! I can see that you're finally starting to see you matter. And you seem lighter now."

That really meant so much to me. As I walked home from that appointment, in the Monday afternoon sunshine (which is so atypical for a January here where I live, but oh-so-very-much-appreciated), I felt...

Grateful.
Empowered.
Calm.
And, yes, Light.

  Then today, the reality of all the doggone disastrous doosies from December came crashing down, and it took everything I could muster NOT to breakdown.

 So, not knowing what to do, and not having anyone to call for help, I shed some tears and took a long walk in the sun.

  And while it doesn't solve the tremendous trials that continue to bombard me, and the perilous predicament it has thus put me in, it does help.

  You don't necessarily have to feel sunshine-y to walk in the sun, and enjoy how good it feels to follow the Sun, even though today - and tomorrow - may rain.

(note: in case you didn't catch my Beatles reference in that last sentence, here's a chance for you to listen to it.)